(hits bong)

At what point is it okay for me to say “Fuck it…I’m just going to wear sweatpants with everything.”

Do I have to reach a certain weight?

Is there like a checklist of life accomplishments that you  need to complete?

(hits bong)

You can’t be dressed for business and pleasure at the same damn time! You have to pick one or the other.

Plus…wouldn’t it be easier just to go full sweats?

It’s not like people who wear sweatpants and dress shirts are going anywhere with a dress code.

Who are they trying to impress?

(hits bong)

When you get dressed…you should have a theme.

-Spaceman Jones signing off.