Get the full book free of charge here! Chapter 2 Getting Home Mitch sat still, holding a blunt that needed ashing. The ashes grew long, and the smoke swirled up off of his fingers. His eyes were red, and his face was stoic. Darius and Gregg laughed it away. Darius stood up and stretched his arms way up and took a deep breath. He looked … Continue reading The Legend Of The Christian Zombie Vampires
Wow! Look at you guys this fake magazine is looking better than it did before I left. I’m back from my home planet with some primo cloud. Fire up the converter Pinkerous we are gonna party like we are back on Detroiticus. The Federation still considers you public enemy number one. Don’t worry I didn’t tell anyone you were here posing as a stuffed animal, … Continue reading Smoking Cloud With Spaceman Jones
Chapter 1 46/23 Pink Ladies Delight Two Dope Boys at the 46 As summer went on in Las Cruces, New Mexico, two men sat in their small apartment smoking a blunt and playing video games. The days of hundred-degree heat strung together like DiMaggio’s hit streak of 1941. There were no signs of it cooling anytime soon, but that was understood. In this part of … Continue reading The Legend Of The Christian Zombie Vampires
My best friend. His name is Slevin. But we call him Dustin. He is Post Malone biggest fan and I mean like he idolized this cat so bad man. I mean like he named his weener Malone and he got a tramp stamp tatoo that says Post Malone cause he loves this guy sooooo much. Sometimes…. when Slevin is asleep, he dreams. And he says … Continue reading A Letter To Slevin
The legend of Simple Jack. I’ve been trying to be a bettter human being. The weed helps. But some people I just don’t understand. Like how stupid can you be? It’s just fish and fries it’s not rocket science. Look at this dumb motherfucker. Doris is gonna whoop his ass I can already tell. Oh look here he comes. You Simple Jack you act in … Continue reading Tales From The Fish Joint With Old Skool Joe
(hits blunt) Man it’s the dog days of summer like a motherfucker. Nothing to do but fire up the grill and watch the MLB All-Star Game. Fuck you Pink Panther baseball is not boring. You would probably like baseball if you had thumbs. (hits blunt) I don’t know if you know this but my Cubs are in first place. We don’t recognize any non goat … Continue reading Summertime The Old Skool Joe Remix
Word. Now that DJ 3Z3 is back we can get down to the business of my comeback album. Fuck you Pink Panther this is a great idea. First off let’s pour out a little liquor for a fallen soldier MC Bucky B. He may have been a hamster, but he was one of the realest to ever walk the earth. Unfortunately old Bucky had some … Continue reading Rapping With Old Skool Joe
Yeah I smoke bud. So what. I don’t see anything wrong with it. I feel like I smoke responsibly. That’s a thing right? I don’t let weed get in the way of my money. But I do spend my money on weed. Also food.. I buy a lot of food. Don’t forget beer. What the fuck am I doing explaining myself to you? Who the … Continue reading Why So Serious Old Skool Joe
I have really been slacking lately. But you have to admit it’s hard to get excited about writing for a fake magazine. You don’t have to go out there in the real world Pink Panther you’re a stuffed animal! It’s scary out there. Shit is real. Pass the blunt. I’m Old Skool Joe the greatest rapper who ever rocked a mic, but I got to … Continue reading Old Skool Joe Still Smoking
I don’t know what to tell you I’ve been busy. Putting in a lot of extra work down at the fish joint. It’s because they threw my boy Tuby under the bus. No… literally the Red Hat Bitches threw him in front of the bus. Something about counting cards. I wasn’t really listening. Doris has some primo buds right now. She sold me a quarter … Continue reading Getting High With Old Skool Joe
46forum Fake Magazine 