The Legend Of The Christian Zombie Vampires

Chapter 1 46/23 Pink Ladies Delight Two Dope Boys at the 46 As summer went on in Las Cruces, New Mexico, two men sat in their small apartment smoking a blunt and playing video games. The days of hundred-degree heat strung together like DiMaggio’s hit streak of 1941. There were no signs of it cooling anytime soon, but that was understood. In this part of … Continue reading The Legend Of The Christian Zombie Vampires

Tales From The Fish Joint With Old Skool Joe 

The legend of Simple Jack. I’ve been trying to be a bettter human being. The weed helps. But some people I just don’t understand. Like how stupid can you be? It’s just fish and fries it’s not rocket science. Look at this dumb motherfucker. Doris is gonna whoop his ass I can already tell. Oh look here he comes. You Simple Jack you act in … Continue reading Tales From The Fish Joint With Old Skool Joe 

Summertime The Old Skool Joe Remix

(hits blunt) Man it’s the dog days of summer like a motherfucker. Nothing to do but fire up the grill and watch the  MLB All-Star Game. Fuck you Pink Panther baseball is not boring. You would probably like baseball if you had thumbs. (hits blunt) I don’t know if you know this but my Cubs are in first place. We don’t recognize any non goat … Continue reading Summertime The Old Skool Joe Remix

Old Skool Joe Still Smoking

I have really been slacking lately. But you have to admit it’s hard to get excited about writing for a fake magazine. You don’t have to go out there in the real world Pink Panther you’re a stuffed animal! It’s scary out there. Shit is real. Pass the blunt. I’m Old Skool Joe the greatest rapper who ever rocked a mic, but I got to … Continue reading Old Skool Joe Still Smoking

Late Night With Old Skool Joe

What the fuck Pink Panther! Why am I so mad? I just watched this movie A Futile And Stupid Gesture on Netflix. I’m starting to think your magazine idea wasn’t that original. Plus none of us are writers…or funny. And you are a stuffed animal. Whatever… that was a dope ass movie, maybe one of the best I’ve ever seen. Still…we should be getting paid … Continue reading Late Night With Old Skool Joe

Hits From The Bong With Spaceman Jones

Criusing in my space ship. I don’ t don’t really have to say shit. I do whatever feels fit. In my space ship. It’s not that I don’t care. Yes it is I don’t care. Cruising in my space ship. Don’t touch my settings. It’s my space ship. Sometimes we hot box in here. Don’t roll the windows down. In my space ship. Do I … Continue reading Hits From The Bong With Spaceman Jones

Pass The Blunt To Old Skool Joe

Another day another dollar. What does that even mean? I can’t call it. Pass the blunt. Yeah I gotta go to the fish joint in a minute, Doris is having a birthday party for her grandson. I think it’s like a mafia rule or something that you can’t hurt people at a birthday party. Maybe it’s a wedding. I don’t know. It’s real out here … Continue reading Pass The Blunt To Old Skool Joe

Hits From The Bong With Spaceman Jones

It’s scary out there. I’m always in my on world…so I never noticed. A man just yelled at me about guns for like 30 minutes. I just asked how the cheese danish was? He was very upset, and he really loves guns. I told him I love that movie Death Wish. That really set him off. (hits bong) I just don’t understand how a person … Continue reading Hits From The Bong With Spaceman Jones

Smoking Cloud With Spaceman Jones

Yo I just came back from the outer nebulas with some primo cloud. Your name did come up. You owe a lot of people. I told them my usual. What? I didn’t say anything. What do you mean stop typing? You said write for the fake magazine, so I’m writing. You’re funny Pinky. Where’s Old Skool Joe? He will want to try some of this … Continue reading Smoking Cloud With Spaceman Jones

Happy Talk With Old Skool Joe

Don’t worry be happy. Seems pretty simple right. I guess for some people it’s not. Which is crazy to me. I get jumped by the Red Hat Gang everyday on my way to work. But hey don’t worry be happy. I’m happy to be there. Plus… Doris can be a sweet old broad sometimes. She also has the primo buds. Shout out to medical marijuana. … Continue reading Happy Talk With Old Skool Joe