#22 The Expendables If you take three of the greatest actors of all time and put them in a scene together, then there is no need for a plot. As a matter of fact you don’t even really need a script. I’m talking Arnold, Willis, and Stallone! Throw the dude from The Transporter in the mix,and you have yourself an Oscar worthy piece of cinema. … Continue reading 46 Movies To Watch When You’re Baked
(hits bong) So I’m working at my other job at the fish joint, because we still aren’t receiving steady paychecks from the stuffed animal who runs this fine fake magazine. Anyway this old man walks in and sits in one of the booths. He looks like one of those crazy old men that goes out in public just to start arguments. So I go and … Continue reading Tales From The Fish Joint With Old Skool Joe
(hits bong) At what point is it okay for me to say “Fuck it…I’m just going to wear sweatpants with everything.” Do I have to reach a certain weight? Is there like a checklist of life accomplishments that you need to complete? (hits bong) You can’t be dressed for business and pleasure at the same damn time! You have to pick one or the other. … Continue reading Sweatpants And Dress Shirts With Spaceman Jones
(hits bong) Do you think China is anything like in all these kung-fu movies we keep watching? Like are they just sitting there drinking tea one minute, then fighting the next? I sure would’ve liked to ninja kick the pizza guy earlier for forgetting my crushed red pepper. (hits bong) It’s probably for the best that I don’t learn martial arts. The other day I … Continue reading Getting High With Old Skool Joe
(hits bong) Ha! Remember the episode of Saved By The Bell where Jessie was hooked on drugs? I mean they were only caffeine pills, but that shit was still funny. That poor girl was under a lot of pressure. She really had to sing. (hits bong) I don’t think I would have lasted very long at Bayside. Mr. Belding would probably have a heart attack … Continue reading What If Spaceman Jones Went To Bayside High?
(hits bong) Ladies and gentlemen the smoke has settled, and the teams are set for Super Bowl 50. We have the Carolina Panthers going against the Denver Broncos. (hits bong) I don’t know who to pick they both have really good teams. Denver has one of the best quarterbacks ever to play football…Peyton Manning. According to some of our female staff members, the guy looks … Continue reading Getting High With Old Skool Joe (Super Bowl Edition)
How come when you’re finished eating,people ask if you saved room for dessert? What does that even mean? Are there people that actually do save room? (hits bong) Apparently the dog wants to start writing a column. It’s gonna be tough sledding for Goliath. How is he gonna type without thumbs? (hits bong) Then again I said the same thing about my boss The Pink … Continue reading Old Skool Joe…Still High
Yesterday a certain stuffed animal who will remain nameless wrote some pretty libelous shit about me on the internet. So I have taken a leave of absence from the fish market to attend this emergency meeting. (hits bong) I’m Old Skool Joe if you did not know. They used to play my rhymes on the radio. I’m in charge of fish and proud of that … Continue reading Getting High With Old Skool Joe…Again
We have been a fake magazine for over a year now and I am satisfied with the results. Around 50,000 human beings took the time to read the absolute nonsense that we typed while smoking weed, and drinking heavily. What can I say…we like to party. Now that might not be a big number or whatever, but it is a lot better than I thought … Continue reading 46forum Still A Fake Magazine Even After A Year
#16 Kung Fu Hustle This is one of those movies that is good whether you are stoned or sober. But like everything else in life it is a lot better if you are stoned. I couldn’t really tell you what the movie is about because I’m still not sure what the plot is. But there is tons of action with some good comedy thrown in. I … Continue reading 46 Movies To Watch When You’re Baked
46forum Fake Magazine 