Why am I so happy all of the time?

(hits bong)

When I woke up in the morning , and checked under my bed I didn’t see a single monster.

Then I went outside and there were no zombies.

I look at the sky and there is no alien invasion today.

(hits bong)

As long as none of that shit is happening…I’m cool.

I work at the greatest fake magazine in the world.

We have everything we need money, clothes, weed indeed, hot food, booze, essentials, and credentials.

How can you ever have a bad day when you have all of these things.

-Spaceman Jones signing off.