How come when you’re finished eating,people ask if you saved room for dessert? What does that even mean? Are there people that actually do save room? (hits bong) Apparently the dog wants to start writing a column. It’s gonna be tough sledding for Goliath. How is he gonna type without thumbs? (hits bong) Then again I said the same thing about my boss The Pink … Continue reading Old Skool Joe…Still High
Yesterday a certain stuffed animal who will remain nameless wrote some pretty libelous shit about me on the internet. So I have taken a leave of absence from the fish market to attend this emergency meeting. (hits bong) I’m Old Skool Joe if you did not know. They used to play my rhymes on the radio. I’m in charge of fish and proud of that … Continue reading Getting High With Old Skool Joe…Again
#16 Kung Fu Hustle This is one of those movies that is good whether you are stoned or sober. But like everything else in life it is a lot better if you are stoned. I couldn’t really tell you what the movie is about because I’m still not sure what the plot is. But there is tons of action with some good comedy thrown in. I … Continue reading 46 Movies To Watch When You’re Baked
(Hits Bong) Today I saw an old blind woman walk across the intersection in front of me at a stop sign. She crossed the street, missed the sidewalk, and was walking into oncoming traffic. So I got out of the car to help. I said “can I help you back onto the sidewalk you are in the middle of the street. She told me “fuck … Continue reading Hits From The Bong With Spaceman Jones
#249 Going To The Movies: If you are going to the movies then make sure to smoke weed at least fifteen minutes before the movie starts. If you can help it try to go to a drive-in movie, or a movie theater that no one else goes to, so that you can light up at least thirty minutes into the movie. If that isn’t an … Continue reading The Stoners Guide To The Galaxy Vol. 249
Dear Internet, Thank you for taking the time out of your busy day to read a fake magazine written by stoners. When my life long friends Old Skool Joe and Spaceman Jones told me they wanted to run a magazine at first I thought they were crazy. Then I thought well I’m a stuffed animal so why can’t a couple of stoners run a fake … Continue reading A Letter From The Editor
When your job is smoking weed and watching TV there sure is a lot of down time. I’m not complaining…but it gives me a lot of time to think. (hits bong) We don’t have cable here..I mean if our job is to watch TV, shouldn’t we like have cable. I guess we don’t need it though…I mean this is like…the future,and shit. We have Netflix, … Continue reading Funny Thing Is We Don’t Even Have Cable.
Humor me for a moment please and smoke weed, then listen to this song. The word hero gets thrown around a lot. Some people deserve to be called heroes, and some don’t. But today I would like to recognize a real life hero Howard The Duck! Howard arrived in Cleveland after being teleported to Earth while enjoying a beer and looking at duck boobs. He … Continue reading Howard The Duck A Real American Hero
Things are great. The fake magazine is running smoothly, gas prices are…who am I kidding I don’t know how much gas is. The important thing is we are having fun, and apparently we are upsetting Google, because they keep sending The Pink Panther threatening messages, and that is hilarious to me since The Pink Panther is a stuffed animal. I just concentrate on my official … Continue reading Old Skool Joe Is High On Life
It’s our theme music and every fake magazine should have some. A big shout out goes out to Big Mike The Mack…I mean Big Mike The Mothafuckin Mack; you have to say it together, because it goes together. He made the song, and he also has tons of other dope tracks. So check him out. People still say dope track right? I don’t know I’m … Continue reading It’s Our Theme Music And Every Good Hero Should Have Some
